The Note
by irishKaoru
Summary: Dee and Ryo have played the lovers game for quite a while but Ryo has never really told Dee how he feels. Dee however does know by a note that was left on the sleeping Ryo's desk sorry I suck at summaries
1. Ryo's Letter

Disclaimer: Don't own them

This is yet another trim into the skewed mind of one IrishKaoru hope that it is to your liking!!!

**The Note**

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I use to laugh a pity the fool who was afraid to tell someone that they were in love. Who would have thought that one day it would happen to me? I was always a firm believer in telling someone that you liked them... it was easier on both parties that way. But for some reason or another when it comes to you it is as if all of my words have been locked away up tight in my heart and I can't tell you the truth.

I remember the first time you asked me if I would love you. We had just been partnered up and the thought of inviting Bikky into my home, well I'm guessing that it frightened you. (If I remember correctly you said something about how a kid on the street could rob me blind in the middle of the night.) I of course ignored you and you stayed the night to "protect me." Some how we started talking about out families and you let out that perhaps you didn't grow up in the most loving environment. (Although it was much later that I would find out the truth.) You had said something along the lines of "sometimes I wonder but you'll love me right?" (Or something like that) I'm guessing that I looked rather confused because you pushed me in a joking way and told me to forget about it. Truth be told I couldn't I obsessed about that one question all night and it got me nowhere.

The next day you ran to Bikky's aid as he was being kidnapped. (Although I knew that you rather disliked the kid) In the process you yourself were taken as a hostage. When I saw you and Bikky in that car my heart just stopped. The look of your face (from the quick glimpse that I caught) was angelic and I couldn't help but feel a little protective you at that moment. It was more or less you I was worries about. (Don't get me wrong I was worried about Bikky as well. You just happen to be the first person I thought about) I knew you could handle yourself but with that brash attitude of yours I thought that it would be better if I found you before your actions got you killed.

Needless to say I was rather reckless when I snuck (if that is what you can call it) into the strong hold. (You remember the ticking time bomb I'm sure (it is kinda hard to forget)) But in the end everyone was alive and unscathed apart from you who did one of the noblest things I have ever heard of. We left to go to the hospital but some how ended up in central park. (Under the lover's trees no less) and that is where it happened... our first kiss.

I was feeling a lot of emotion in those few seconds. A lethal mixture of joy, fear, and embarrassment, none the less it happened. Happiness because I found out that my assumption was true and you did play off what happened the night before as a joke when really you were serious. Fear because that is when I had to make the choice to either admit that I was attracted to the same sex or hide of what I knew to be true. And Embarrassment because it was not only my first kiss with a man but it was in a public place none the less. I guess that is where it all started.

When I say that I mean my denial. I was angry at you for the next few days and pushed you away when really all I wanted to do was pull you closer to me and never let go. Something about you made me feel safer than I had ever felt before. You were like a calm in my hectic world. (Although you were the cause of my problems more often than not.)

My world became just that much better after we became partners. I found that given enough time I was slowly beginning to fall for you and let down the protection that I had placed around my heart so long ago. I found that I was longing for your touch more and more, wondering how it would feel the next time you put your lips against mine, your arms around my waist, when you held me close the rest of the world would be at a stand still. Only you and I existed.

Till this day I haven't really told you what I feel. I wish more than anything that I could come out of this prison that I have put myself in and let you know that you are my world. I know it sounds so cliché but you are. It's amazing to think that you have held on for a year and a half. Am I really that special?

I'm sorry Dee. I promise that I will tell you someday in the near future. I know that it something that I have to do. It is no fair to you and even though it sounds selfish it is no fair to me either. I don't want to keep on living in this lie that I have come to believe. Please wait a little longer for me. Dee I Love You and that is all that there is to it. You make my world go round, you are my spring after the bleak winter, you are the icing on the top of the cake, and all of the other cliché sayings that there are out there. You are perfect the way you are and for that I love you more than anything.

Love always

Ryo

Dee read the letter over a third time before smiling to himself. Placing the placing the paper back amidst the mess that littered Ryo's desk he let himself laugh. It was only after he was able to pull his gaze from the table did he look back at Ryo's sleeping form. He placed the glass of water that he had gotten up to get on the nightstand and climbed back into the bed with him. Wrapping his arms protectively around "his" Ryo he kissed the top of his head. He was content waiting for Ryo but he knew his life would be complete after hearing those words he read come from Ryo's mouth and not his pen.

"I love you Ryo." Dee whispered softly and he pulled Ryo close to him. He let another grin adorn his face as Ryo nuzzled a little closer and subconsciously muttered his name.

Please review! Thank you IrishKaoru


	2. Dee's Reply

Disclaimer: I don't own them!!!

Although this was going to be a one-shot I got a request to write another chapter so here it is hope that it doesn't disappoint.

Ryo, what can I say? Do you really know just how much I love you? There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. You are my partner, my friend (best friend even), my crush, and my love (even if eventually you tell me that you don't feel the same way.) There is so much about you that I don't know but I want to learn, learn all there is to know about you.

I think that you can see me for who I am. No one has been able to reach that deep in me before, not even penguin. That in itself is a feat but you take it to a new level. You make me feel safe in a way that I never thought that I would. Not the type of safe that someone would feel when they are with a bodyguard but emotionally safe. You have something that pulls people to you, God Ryo you pulled me in the first day.

Where to start? You are an unbelievably sexy. Your face is that of an angle. God's perfect creation put on this earth to ease the suffering of the mortal race. Your eyes are the most amazing things that I have ever seen. Nothing like them. Sometimes I have to remind myself that you are a human and not something more divine. But the truth is that you are not only sexy in body but in personality too.

You are funny, smart, and caring. You put everyone before yourself and although sometimes it is a fault it is one of the things that endears me to you. I love you and that is all that there is to it. There is so much about you that I can't put it into words.

I know that it is not like me to go on and on like this but there is so much that I want tell you. You have seen me for the real me and for that I love you. I don't know what else to say to make you understand. I just hope that you realize that I love you for you not because I am lusting for you. Please understand that you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Dee

Dee sighed as he set the pen that he was writing with and leaned back in the chair. It had been one week since Dee had found the letter on Ryo's letter. Ever since Dee read the letter things have been awkward. He really wanted to get closer to Ryo but also feared pushing him away. Perhaps that is how Ryo felt all the time, pressured, odd about it the entire time, but if that was the truth than why would he write such things in a note that was obviously for him.

Dee began to count just how many letters had he written to Ryo that never got sent. This made him wonder just how many unsent letters Ryo had written. The whole ordeal was rather confusing. Dee looked out the window in thought. Should he risk possibly pushing Ryo away just to let him know how he really felt, just to let Ryo know that it was pure and honest love not lust that he was after. It was all so confusing but it was late and he needed to sleep. Hoisting himself out of the chair in which he sat and headed to his room pulling his shirt over his head in the process. He knew that he wouldn't get much sleep tonight but that didn't bother him because he knew that all his thoughts would be of his partner, friend, crush, and love... Ryo.

Thank you to all that read and reviewed this. I had no intentions of making a second chapter but someone asked so I did what I could. As long as people ask for me to continue I will. Hope I didn't disappoint. I wrote this at 1:00 in the morning. Anyway just so you all know because I know I confused some people this is set prior to the seventh manga. Till next time

Ja

IrishKaoru


	3. A Sent Letter

Disclaimer: Not my own.

OK so another chapter was requested and thus another chapter was updated. So long as people ask for it they shall receive. That be all!!!

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"Dee can I ask you something" Ryo asked one night over dinner. The house apes (a.k.a. Carol and Bikky) were gone for a week on vacation leaving Ryo and Dee alone for one whole week. Dee looked up from his box of Chines take-out and looked at his partner with inquisitive eyes.

"Shoot." Ryo took a deep breath and hesitated for a moment before replying.

"Please wait here for a moment." Ryo stood up and walked out of the room. The sound of drawer opening could be heard and Dee's curiosity grew as Ryo entered the room with a fist full of papers. He took one off the top of the pile and handed it to him. Just as Dee's hand was about to wrap around the thin piece of parchment Ryo pulled it away. "You have to promise that you will not laugh at me because of this." His voice was very serious.

"Of course I won't" Dee said with a little laugh and reached for the paper again this time Ryo let it go and watched Dee's face as he read the letters on the paper. Dee's eyes grew wide as he read.

Dee,

This is the only way that I could think of to tell you my true feelings. I just hope that this doesn't end up like so many other letters that I have written to you... unsent. For the longest time I have lived knowing what you feel for me and deep in my heart I harbored the same for you. I was always taught that to love another man in a sexual manner was wrong and unmoral but I couldn't help it.

Where do I start, how about at the beginning that seems to be the best place to start everything? The first day I met you I was rather astounded with your straight forward and in-your-face attitude. Something about you drew mw in and after we were partnered we became fast friends but for some reason I feared that we would become more than that. So I fought it

The day that you were kidnapped I knew that I couldn't fight it anymore, especial when it was you that I was most worried about. When you kissed me my mind became fuzzy and I drifted to a world that was all my own. The only problem I had with that kiss was that I knew it would be ten times harder to fight it, fight the urge I had for you and the feelings that I secretly harbored.

In England I found that the urges that I had were getting stronger and harder to hold back. When you pounced on me I didn't push, when you kissed me I kissed back. Those things never felt wrong at the time. Once I realized what I was doing I pushed you away, I made you think that I was not enjoying it but in reality it was exactly what I wanted and in a way it was everything and more.

You were always there to protect me even when it wasn't a crazy Japanese murder that was after me. Somehow you knew that I was uncomfortable when I was around Berkeley Rose and you made sure that he didn't do anything to me if you could help it. You and he seemed so alike with your brazen attitudes but the truth of the matter was that you were much... much kinder.

The only time that I have ever truly shown you my feelings was the day that you were almost killed in that bombing at Bikky's school. You don't know nor do I think you could understand just how helpless I felt when you told me that you were not coming out and I was not to go in. It felt like time had stopped. I had to take shit from JJ because I wouldn't let him enter the building. Once I had found you in the mess I threw myself at you and forcibly kissed you. (Not that you minded I'm sure.) That was probably the first time I had ever told you my true feelings. I do care for you Dee even if I turn you away at times.

You have been there for me when I needed you the most. When I met Leo in the parking garage that night it was you who pulled me away from becoming a murderer. And although I had told you to take me that night you did not. You knew that it was something that I would later regret and thus knocked some sense into me.

I know that there are times that you felt that the only thing I was good for was leading you on, making you believe that I was only playing with you and I could understand why you would think that but deep down I really was in love with you. I still love you to this day Dee and I know that it is pathetic that the only way that I could find to tell you this was in a letter but please accept it for what it is. If I hadn't written this I would never have had the courage to tell you this. I Love You.

Ryo

There were a few places on the parchment that it looked as if there had once been tears. Dee was almost moved to tears by this act of love he probably would have cried if it had not been for his ego, which was larger than his head could handle at times. He looked up and smiled at his partner.

"You say this like I didn't already know." He laughed as he stood up and walked over to Ryo placing two strong hands on his shoulders. "I know how you feel Ryo, I've known for a little while at least and I think it is a good thing." He pulled Ryo into a tight embrace. "I love you not just your body but your personality as well. Randy Ryo Maclean I love you. And with that he gave Ryo a passionate kiss that proved his love. He was quite pleased when Ryo returned with just as much fore. Sure Ryo had kissed Dee back before but never to this extent. Dee made up his mind quickly and decided that he liked this Ryo the best.

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I could and will continue if people want me to but please let me know what you want to see. K that is all.I have ideas but what to know yours as well!!!!

irishkaoru


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